Max, Harold, or Leroy?

So I am worried. No, no, not about the dumb blood tests--they all came back normal, PHEWEE. I'm fine. Doc said probably just a reaction to IB Profin, so more of that for me.

No. I am worried about my brother's unborn baby. For no particular reason, he wants to name his child either Max, Harold, or Leroy. God, help us, I beseech thee. My brother is psycho. Who would damn their unborn child with a name like Leeerrrrrooooyyyy? Or Max, short for Maxi-pad? I bet their child will be a stick child like all of us were--really skinny--and with a name like Max, he'll be dubbed Gay for sure. or take the name Harold, where one could come up with countless obscene names, harry ____ (fill in the blank with your desired expletive).

Why can't he just settle for a common name like John, David, Paul, or something mundane? At least the names are a step above these guys:

Here is a weird one for you, I was in a Burger King a month or so back, there was a young couple with a very small baby (not more than a month old) I asked them what they had named the baby, and they replied "Mordred". Well since the couple was pierced and tatooed all over themselves, I just shuddered and said a silent prayer for the unfortunate infant.

My children claim that their school bus driver's children are named Mercedes and Lexus. I'd believe anything right about now.

Well, if all those kids in the late 60s and early seventies survived being named Galadriel, Moonbeam, Starlight, etc then I think little Mordred will be OK. He'll just become Maury at some point. My Godson is named Dairmid Alpin S****. His paternal Grandmother had a fit. My friend wanted a name that honored her ancesters and I told her to go for it. He'll be Al by college anyway.

The kid I felt sorry or in junior highschol, had parents that immigrated from Germany in the 1950's. His name? Bill Wihlfahrt. Guaranteed to raise a few snickers at role call...And then there was the poor kid named "David Darling" and the math teacher: Mr. Boner....

I have personally met a Velveeta and an Aquanette.

I still have the receipts indicating that my server and cashier were Toshiba and Tequila, respectively.

And the chairman of the FTC is named Orson Swindle!

I was once taken aback by a girl being named "Latrina." She was doing well ina good college and I wonder how that name will hold her back. I since heard that it is fairly common in Central America (perhaps other Hispanic communities) when spelled LaTrina.

There's a dentist around here caller Dr Harry Butts. I feel incredibly sorry for the guy (and the poor guy I went to high school with whose last name was 'Honeybun')

I still remember the woman who named her kid Alpacino. I'm sure that boy (now school age) is getting the crap kicked out of him daily, poor tyke.

I once taught a Korean guy called F**k. Not to be pronounced "fook," you understand, please, pronounce it properly.

The name Nick prompts anything from smirks to gales of laughter around here (Arabic-speaking Middle East), being the Arabic equivalent of, um, "fook." One friend of mine changed his name to Andrew for the duration of his soujourn in Arab parts. The 24 children named "Unique" would have the same problem (different form of the same verb). And I have a student who has just named her baby daugher "Hoor." Poor wee thing, let's hope she never wants to visit the English-speaking world.

A trend for naming children after favourite possessions is accelerating in brand-driven America.

The records show that in 2000, 49 children were named Canon, followed by 11 Bentleys, five Jaguars and a Xerox.

There is also a Gouda and a Bologna, who are named after the cheese and the sausage rather than the places.

http://www.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,4057,7403152^401,00.html